The Main Dish

Update...

2005-06-28T22:36:00.000-05:00

Things have been massively craptastic this month, so that's why I haven't been around. I'll post more later, but for now, I'm down 20 pounds, bitch! A total of 28 from my highest weight ever... which we'll never speak of again. ;)

Sorry

2005-06-23T18:17:00.000-05:00

Been a little overwhelmed with stuff to do lately, and haven't been able to sit and type out a coherent sentence. Down 13 pounds tho :)

More later.

Wow...

2005-06-12T03:11:00.000-05:00

Penn Jillette should never have been allowed to have a child. The hair alone is a tragedy, but he named his first born offspring the following...

Moxie CrimeFighter

..... Good God.

Oh yeah, so about this diet thing. Well, I've been doing well.
I made a commitment to my family to try to take better care of myself, so, I'm doing the best I can, and accepting that it's really all I can ask. I'm making phenomenal choices lately and really making a great effort. I haven't been eating fried food, I've been vetoing all the gooey opportunities for cheesy goodness, and I've even laid off the booze. Oh, the horror !
I haven't weighed myself, but I feel better, and less puffy.. and less sluggish.
It's been a little more than a week and I really like where this is headed. I'll worry abut finding myself a diet appropriate "adult beverage" later... but vodka tonics with lime are sounding lovely. :)

My 3 year old has no idea what I'm doing, but my 5 year old gets it. She pulled me into the living room the other day, planted me on the couch, took my face into her little hands and said "I want you to know I'm very proud of you, Mom, for trying to be skinny and healthy. I'll help you diet and exercise if you can help me back off of the candy." :-D

My husband is quietly supportive. I think he's very nervous that I'm going to have a hard time doing this, and that I might fail. We are seriously considering whether or not we want more children, and frankly - with me at my current weight - it's not even an option right now. We *do* want them, but it's not safe for me to get pregnant now. I wasn't small when I was pregnant with either of my kids, and both kids were extremely healthy, with relatively normal pregnancies. My second pregnancy, however, did result in gestational diabetes and insulin injections. Unfortunately, if you've had GD before, there's a huge chance that you'll get it should you get pregnant again... and if I were thinner, I might dodge that bullet.

Either way, I just need to be healthy in the here and now, for myself and for the family I have right *NOW*.... not one I may or may not have in the next few years. If we decide to have another baby, I want to give that kid the best digs I can for that pregnancy.. and the one I'm sporting now isn't gonna cut it.

In other news, I'm craving sweets and I'm with Chelle. Fudgcicles are where it's at.
Mmmmmm. Yummy. I may also make some of this lemon concoction she whipped up. Hmm. Send me the recipe, beeyatch.... ;-)

An ode to sugar free fudgsicles... and lemon ricotta creme.

2005-06-09T09:32:00.000-05:00

These two things are keeping me sane on my diet. There are times that you've just gotta have something sweet, or in my case... chocolatey. SF fudgsicles fit the bill, save for Monday (my birthday) when I had to have real! chocolate! dammit! and I had a package of those atkins peanut butter cups. ::drool:: Yes, I know, South Beach is not Atkins. But it was my birthday, and at least I didn't do a face plant in the nearest slice of cake. (Eh, who am I kidding? The old me would have face planted in the *whole* cake!)

Lemon ricotta creme is a recipe in the South Beach book. I was a leetle unsure of it, so I didn't bother making it until the other night. Oooh, I'm sorry I hesitated! I add a bit more extract, and a wee bit more splenda to it than is written... but mmmm. I also threw 5-10 chocolate chips in (it's allowed!) and hell yeah! Most excellent.

I made some last night, and was all excited for my chocolate chips when I discovered that my darling husband ate them ALL! Doom! But, it's damn tasty on its own.

And thank goodness, because with all the stress going on these days, it's a dandy miracle that I haven't messed this up. I am determined!

Random reflections...

2005-06-08T12:42:00.000-05:00

So things have been good in the dieting world this week, even though the rest of my world has pretty much gone to shit. We're in the middle of a crisis with a very ill family member, so I'm actually extra proud of myself that I haven't eaten my weight in chocolate from the stress. I'm feeling much more in control of my eating with the continuation of South Beach... in fact, eating is not number one on my mind all the time. That's a breakthrough for me! Sure, my choices are a little monotonous, but that's mainly because I haven't had the time or inclination to sit down and find some other recipes to add in. I'm still on phase one, and will continue to be until the 18th -- my SIL's wedding. That will put me on phase one a total of 3+ weeks, as compared to the recommended 2 weeks. But I really want to shed as much as I can before the wedding, then I can move on to phase two.

I'm nervous about adding things back into my diet, but from what I'm gleaning on a couple SB boards I've read, this is a pretty common fear. I finally feel as if I'm not a food binge waiting to happen... but will that stay the same as I add more carbs in? I honestly don't know, but all I can do is add things back in slowly and see how my body reacts. If I find some of those old cravings coming back in, I'll know I'm not ready for that particular food. It's going to be trial and error, and probably a little tough some days. But I have to stick to my guns. If I fail one day, I have to get right back on and start again. No more of that "perfection" attitude! So far, so good. :)

So, it's like this...

2005-06-03T23:57:00.000-05:00

Hey there, this is Chelle... the other half of this social experiment. Cheers to the lovely Kerry for providing her witty and honest intro of our purpose here. So, let's dig right in, shall we?

Basically, I've struggled with some form of weight issue all my life. It wasn't until becoming a nurse, however -- with the associated crappy hours and constant trays of baklava at the nurse's station -- that my weight really got out of control. But here I am, 11 years into my nursing career, and a good 110 pounds overweight. Nursing didn't make me fat, though. Sure, the ongoing stress and constant shift changing has done it's toll, but ultimately it was my lack of planning ahead that has done my weight in. I'd frequently go hours and hours without eating, only to grab the closest, easiest, and inevitably crappiest thing I could get my hands on. And then I'd eat it... a LOT of it, and go to sleep. Good times.

And let's not forget my good friend Emotional Overeating. Hi. Been there, done it, loved it. Did it love me back? Eh, not so much. But I'm learning that by *planning ahead* and stopping myself for becoming ridiculously hungry, I can control this. It's an every day decision, and it will be for the rest of my life.

So what exactly am I going to do with this information? Well, for one, I'm going to work on letting go of the perfection monster. That bitch has been stalking me all my life, and I've willingly let her take over my eating. If I can't do it *perfectly*, I can't do it at all... and frankly, that's bullshit. It's a cop out because I know I'll never be able to "diet" perfectly. That's why I'm glad there's only 24 hours in a day -- it's important to have the mental chance to start over frequently, even if you have to do it every day until you make peace with the process. This is a recurring theme in my life, and one I'm working to get under control. I am my own worst enemy in this regard, as I suspect many people are.

I've started South Beach. Have I mentioned I'm a carb whore? Not as if you hadn't guessed that by now, but just so we're clear. Today makes a week on the program, and I'm feeling great. It's forced me to eat at regular intervals and stopped me from waiting until I'm ravenous. In fact, it's been tough for me to eat everything I'm supposed to eat, and the carb cravings are almost zero -- that's one hell of a change from a week ago!

Exercise is coming slowly. I haven't done too much with it this week. For some reason, it's tough for me to get both the eating and the exercising going together... but that's my goal for next week. Upward, onward, and off with these giant thighs!

So, that's me in seven paragraphs or less. Expect to see a lot *more* of me here, and a lot *less* of me everywhere else!

What's all this about ... ?

2005-06-02T13:50:00.000-05:00

Hey, thanks for stopping by !

What's the point of this blog ? Well, let's see.

I'm Kerry. My partner in this blogfest is Michelle. We're the fat girls.
We've known one another for a looong time, but unfortunately we don't live near one another - she's in Wisconsin and I'm in Missouri.

Since we kind of share the same brain, and we're both dealing with the same sorts of dieting issues, we figured it might be fun to get a running dialog going about how we deal with weight loss and gain in our lives, and how we're trying to manage our little slice of an American epidemic.

Make no mistakes about it. We're extremely candid. We know we're fat, and we're making an effort to do something about it. Not for our husbands, not for our families, but because we both know deep down that it's about time to stop with the frozen yogurt and start with the yoga.

We're not angry, bitter, snaggle toothed women who feel wronged by society. We're hot, we're sexy, and in more ways than one, we're larger than life. This blog is about honesty, reality, and supporting one another and anyone else who wants to join in. It's all good times without the french fries. We'd love to read your comments, so feel free to post a note to either, or both of us. If you've got some shitty little critical comment to make about fat girls, take a number. We've heard it all, sunshine. If you've got a recipe or a workout tip we can try, bring it ! We'll give it a shot and let you know about our results.

So there you go. That's what we're all about. Grab a bottle of water, have a read and enjoy yourself.

Welcome ! :-D